May 2009
2 posts
Ex-girlfriend Killed
My ex-girlfriend was run over by a train. Her infidelity I mean intestines spilled all over the place. She also shit herself.
Kentucky Grilled Vomit Meeting
I was in a meeting today and while Mark was showing me how to copy and paste on a computer BWORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHK he yuked a bucket of Kentucky Grilled Chicken all over the place. May Li certainly wasn’t laughing 10 seconds after I took this picture. Also Oprah is giving coupons out for the chicken it’s pretty good. Click here for Oprah’s chicken coupon.
April 2009
3 posts
Seagull Strike
And I thought forgetting sunscreen was my biggest worry!! I was taking a picture of my aunt Rita and my cousins when these combat seagulls COMPLETELY DESTROYED MY WORLD. One of them was driving the garbage truck full of beachgoers (still burning omfg that’s so gross) while the others were shooting laser beams from laser goggles on their faces. And one of them even looked like a bomber...
Olympic Battle Monkey Caught Near Clearwater, FL
Me and my buddy Clint went deep sea fishing off the coast of Florida and we definitely didn’t expect this! Clint hooked into a big one and started reeling him in I thought it was a really huge marlin but it wasn’t. All of a sudden he yanked up a monkey with sais wearing a 2008 Beijing Olympics cap - SIDEWAYS. This thing was ready for battle. Sideways baseball caps mean TROUBLE. ...
Space Mountain? More Like SNAKE Mountain OMG!!
I can’t even begin. What you see here lasted less than 1 MINUTE. This is the only picture I could get!! Cinderella’s castle transforms into Castle Grayskull from TV’s “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” for one minute each day. BUT WHY DIDN’T ANYONE BUT ME, THE PEOPLE ON THE FLAMING MONORAIL, AND THE KID ABOUT TO HAVE HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM BY SKELETOR...
March 2009
7 posts
Lemonade Stand Fire
Stumbled upon this lemonade stand turned nightmare when BOOM! lightning stuck it and set it ablaze. I was lucky. This photo shows the instant it happened. You can see the kid shit himself. I don’t blame him yikes I got outta there.
Bus Plummets From Empire State Building...
I was taking a photo of the Empire State Building when I captured this. You can see the glass breaking and the pieces of shit (I assume from the school children) as the bus soars through the air. Very sad bcz the kids probably died :(
Tiger Late To Work
Cross country skiing, I was almost run over by this tiger who is obv late to work and, by the look on his face, not too happy about his job.
Watermelon Assault On Unsuspecting Bulls
KABLAMMMMM! I heard a sound like a cannon and turned around to see a cannon shooting watermelons at some bulls minding their own bizniz wtf???
Locomotive Derails Red Sox Game
omg I was at the Red Sox game when a locomotive driven by Sara Gilbert from TV’s “Roseanne” crashed through the green monster. The players started shitting themselves it was horrible! Got this picture at just the right time.
Astronaut Pees On Dumb Tourists
This group of assbuckets was posing for a picture at Redwood Park when I was getting ready to take one of my own. Holy crap look what I caught! I didn’t know astronauts could pee from their space suits but I think it’s LOL that he did! I wish he didn’t pee on the hot girl though. Maybe he could have pushed a little harder to get it all over Corky on the right. Oh well. ...
Cow Horse Shits On Baby
Was walking by a field and saw a horse that looked like a cow taking a dump on a naked baby. Unreal.