My ex-girlfriend was run over by a train. Her infidelity I mean intestines spilled all over the place. She also shit herself.
I was in a meeting today and while Mark was showing me how to copy and paste on a computer BWORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHK he yuked a bucket of Kentucky Grilled Chicken all over the place. May Li certainly wasn’t laughing 10 seconds after I took this picture. Also Oprah is giving coupons out for the chicken it’s pretty good. Click here for Oprah’s chicken coupon.
And I thought forgetting sunscreen was my biggest worry!! I was taking a picture of my aunt Rita and my cousins when these combat seagulls COMPLETELY DESTROYED MY WORLD. One of them was driving the garbage truck full of beachgoers (still burning omfg that’s so gross) while the others were shooting laser beams from laser goggles on their faces. And one of them even looked like a bomber with missiles strapped to its wings. Where are these things from>??? And how the shit does a seagull drive a garbage truck!?!?! My cousin Alex was only 9 when that thing BURNED A GIANT HOLE THROUGH HIS INNOCENT LITTLE HEART and some of my other cousin Sara’s brain got on my jams which is cool in a way I guess but more sad than cool bcz it sucks that she’s dead now. I’m serious wtf this is getting crazy.
Me and my buddy Clint went deep sea fishing off the coast of Florida and we definitely didn’t expect this! Clint hooked into a big one and started reeling him in I thought it was a really huge marlin but it wasn’t. All of a sudden he yanked up a monkey with sais wearing a 2008 Beijing Olympics cap - SIDEWAYS. This thing was ready for battle. Sideways baseball caps mean TROUBLE. I called the police and hit the gas who knows how many more are down there. This was on the Gulf side of Florida near Clearwater so watch out if you go in the ocean there!!!
I can’t even begin. What you see here lasted less than 1 MINUTE. This is the only picture I could get!! Cinderella’s castle transforms into Castle Grayskull from TV’s “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” for one minute each day. BUT WHY DIDN’T ANYONE BUT ME, THE PEOPLE ON THE FLAMING MONORAIL, AND THE KID ABOUT TO HAVE HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM BY SKELETOR IN DUMBO NOTICE?!?!?!? And why is Mickey proud?!?!? PEOPLE ARE DYING! And what the hell is He-Man doing to that poor Asian girl? And why didn’t people see any of this? Look at their faces omg I felt so helpless…
Stumbled upon this lemonade stand turned nightmare when BOOM! lightning stuck it and set it ablaze. I was lucky. This photo shows the instant it happened. You can see the kid shit himself. I don’t blame him yikes I got outta there.
I was taking a photo of the Empire State Building when I captured this. You can see the glass breaking and the pieces of shit (I assume from the school children) as the bus soars through the air. Very sad bcz the kids probably died :(
Cross country skiing, I was almost run over by this tiger who is obv late to work and, by the look on his face, not too happy about his job.
KABLAMMMMM! I heard a sound like a cannon and turned around to see a cannon shooting watermelons at some bulls minding their own bizniz wtf???
omg I was at the Red Sox game when a locomotive driven by Sara Gilbert from TV’s “Roseanne” crashed through the green monster. The players started shitting themselves it was horrible! Got this picture at just the right time.
